So I'm on my spring break. I haven't heard from SSA about my internship yet. I keep checking my email everyday but still no news. I remember talking to my internship advisor and he told me not to worry if they don't get back to me right away. At least I applied early.
Well, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Also, Matt got a great job that is a step towards a career. I am genuinely happy for him. I'm not jealous in any means but I'm still waiting to hear from SSA. I feel like I haven't moved forward toward who I am suppose to be yet. I definitely have moved past the mental block I was dealing with for a while; it was a spiritual process. But I want my world to reflect who I am now. I want to harmonize my inner and outer worlds to feel complete.
So I was beginning to get restless earlier tonight. Whenever I get restless, I listen. It's the psyche's way of letting me know that something is up. So I started to think about the week ahead. I want it to be productive; I want to organize my life, and that got me thinking. I wrote a list of visualizations of my future and personal growth. I don't just want to organize my academic life; I want overall convergence. So I did Tarot and asked if I would have productive week ahead. I pulled the Five of Rods.
"Others want what you want and the contest is likely to be exciting and heated, filled with action and rivalry. Don't allow your competitors to gain the advantage. Be firm, stand your ground, don't give in. Despite the uphill battle, you overcome the competition.
The competition refers to a business, social, or spiritual situation. You expend so much energy countering your rivals that it's interfering with the rest of your life, and you don't have time for your usual pursuits. So make time. Set aside space for yourself and your passions.
Empowerment: You rise to the challenge" (129).
Okay, my personal meaning of this card isn't so literal about competition. It's about conflict-particularly inner conflict. The conflict between my newly strengthened foundation and the portrayal of it in the outer world. The conflict between my old self, (with the bout of disappointment over the internship edging it on), and who I want to be.
The card shows four men evenly matched. I just have to set my priorities and go after it while standing firm. So I will make time this week to get back to basics.
Well, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Also, Matt got a great job that is a step towards a career. I am genuinely happy for him. I'm not jealous in any means but I'm still waiting to hear from SSA. I feel like I haven't moved forward toward who I am suppose to be yet. I definitely have moved past the mental block I was dealing with for a while; it was a spiritual process. But I want my world to reflect who I am now. I want to harmonize my inner and outer worlds to feel complete.
So I was beginning to get restless earlier tonight. Whenever I get restless, I listen. It's the psyche's way of letting me know that something is up. So I started to think about the week ahead. I want it to be productive; I want to organize my life, and that got me thinking. I wrote a list of visualizations of my future and personal growth. I don't just want to organize my academic life; I want overall convergence. So I did Tarot and asked if I would have productive week ahead. I pulled the Five of Rods.
"Others want what you want and the contest is likely to be exciting and heated, filled with action and rivalry. Don't allow your competitors to gain the advantage. Be firm, stand your ground, don't give in. Despite the uphill battle, you overcome the competition.
The competition refers to a business, social, or spiritual situation. You expend so much energy countering your rivals that it's interfering with the rest of your life, and you don't have time for your usual pursuits. So make time. Set aside space for yourself and your passions.
Empowerment: You rise to the challenge" (129).
Okay, my personal meaning of this card isn't so literal about competition. It's about conflict-particularly inner conflict. The conflict between my newly strengthened foundation and the portrayal of it in the outer world. The conflict between my old self, (with the bout of disappointment over the internship edging it on), and who I want to be.
The card shows four men evenly matched. I just have to set my priorities and go after it while standing firm. So I will make time this week to get back to basics.
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