"With this card the Fool's journey ends; he arrives at his destination. The goal has been reached and all the elements of a situation have been drawn into a synthesized whole.
You've reached a deep understanding of the issues that concern you. You've begun to realize that everything in life starts within and radiates outward, that your most private beliefs create the reality that you live. Everything is available to you. Now it's time to free yourself from restriction. Expand your horizons.
Completion, success, fulfillment. You're ready to reap your rewards and move on to a new phase. If you've been working on a long-term project that seems like it will never end, be assured that the conclusion is near.
Don't assume that your ultimate goal in life has been attained. This card symbolizes peak experiences where you move a step closer toward becoming who you really are. The world dancer serves as a reminder that the journey is the true goal" (76).
This card symbolizes the peak of this spiritual journey that I've undergone the past couple of months. I just wanted to recap to see how far I've come and for renewed hope in the future.
This whole journey started back in August of 08, whether I knew it at the time or not. As I looked through the spreads I did that month, the main theme of apathy was very clear. And I was. The cards mentioned something about a process to me. They told me that the process is what is important. The cards were warning me of what was to come. I got Death and I was moving towards The Lovers. My psyche was warning me something was up, with my being apathetic, and my cards told me of a journey where major transformation would occur.
In September, I asked my cards whether this was a pivotal moment in time for me. I pulled The Fool and The Hermit. The Hermit is the truth seeker and that was my path. This was when I finally realized that I was on a journey of self-discovery.
October was when I broke up with Frank. That was the actual start of this transformation that was to happen. Looking back though, I do not think that I could have even gotten to this place if it wasn't for him. He helped me get over my insecurities and he helped me become a stronger person so that I could become who I am eventually suppose to be.
In November, before I got with Matt, I did a Reality Shift Spread. The Ten of Swords represents the direction that I was giving my inner self now. It talks of a final resolution of a situation and a dramatic end of a cycle. This was the end of my mourning the break-up. I moved on and cleared the deadwood so that I could begin another cycle.
The King of Swords represented how my external reality reflects the Ten of Swords. I cut out what I didn't need anymore, which was the relationship with Frank. I was at a point in my life where I needed to grow spiritually and he wasn't in the same place. I feel that when sweeping change occurs to shake you up and puts you on the path where you are suppose to be, that everything in your life has to harmonize. Without it, you are held back from reaching your potential.
The Ace of Swords was how I would empower myself to change my reality. That card is all about strength through adversity. There is nothing more I can say to elaborate on that card.
What I find particularly interesting, especially as I look back on all of these spreads, is that I pulled the Five of Rods. It represents how my outer self would respond to this new directive my life was taking. This card is all about conflict. It was my inner conflict of being put on this path unexpectedly and with my moon in Taurus, the transformation was a slow process. Nothing had been harmonized yet and I felt so scattered. Now looking back, this is what caused the stagnation to resulted later.
How my life will shift as a result of the Five of Rods was represented by the Queen of Pentacles. This told me that I would enter a spiritually rich period of my life. This is so true.
What I ultimately create is the Five of Cups. This card describes a pain and emptiness I would feel due to a loss of spiritual vitality. For a while, the process really had to sink in and I chose to not act because I was still trying to comprehend the whole situation. This was the result of the Five of Cups.
My new path was represented by the Two of Cups. This is a path where the conflict stops and everything is in balance and perfect harmony. I didn't understand this at the time of the spread.
Latter on in December, I went to a palm reader with Jessie. I forget exactly what she said but she mentioned that I would find my career niche and I did some spreads on it. The overall message was that my career and spirituality were connected for me.
I asked myself what was holding me back and it was the inner conflict stemming from the Five of Rods and the ebb and flow of the seasons. This was still a process of significant transformation, which would be over when I resolved my inner demons and conflicts.
In January 2009, I pulled the Empress and it told me to nurture all I am so that I can become all that I can be. I still had to find balance.
Also in January I got hints from my spreads that my spiritual path is on a mental plane and that once I find my niche, I'll become emotionally immersed in my new path. My life would lead to the Two of Cups when I achieve mental balance, which would resume my life's forward momentum. This all stems from the Five of Rods. However, I didn't listen to this message and went ahead and created the Five of Cups situation.
Through February and March, I disregarded opportunities for growth because I was still in the Five of Cups. At the time, I was sure that the Two of Cups would be me fusing my career and spirituality with the SSA internship. I thought that was the final goal of me finally fusing my inner and outer selves. However, I still did not understand the importance of balance and harmony because if I did get the SSA internship, I wouldn't be at the peak of my potential. I wouldn't have the tool set to find harmony. The SSA would only be a temporary fix because I still had inner conflict.
In April I had lost my motivation. I was so disappointed that I didn't have the internship yet that I started to question whether I picked the wrong major or not. I asked myself what the point was in my major if I couldn't apply it.
I asked my cards whether I picked the right major and I got the Sun. The Sun is about positive energy. The Fool has learned from his past life and limitations and his pattern of experience has become a solid foundation from which he can proceed. "The Sun symbolizes the masculine capacity to impart form and structure. His influence gives form the the formless, shape to the shapeless" (Burke, 120). The Sun stands for success, prosperity and happiness.
When I thought about why I was questioning my major I pulled the Eight of Swords. I finally understood that my fear of not getting the SSA internship blocked balance, and with my Scorpio side giving all or nothing, I was stuck mentally. I then asked myself "How do I start believing without hearing from the SSA?" Looking back, I shouldn't have asked that question because the only was I was to start believing and getting into balance was if I didn't get the internship.
In April I even asked again about the internship. I just couldn't see what was going on back then. I got the Ten of Swords. The card was telling me that I should give up on a lost cause and get on with the true purpose of what was going on. I would have to accept the inevitable and move on.
In June, I was tired of being disappointed about the internship and I wanted something new. I was then able to understand the purpose of this whole journey.
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