What's On My Mind

This was also after I hung out with David the second time. At this point, I was having so much fun with David but I was still feeling heartache for Frank. I was just thinking about everything and pulled out four random cards.

1) Seven of Pentacles
2) Eight of Cups
3) The World
4) Ace of Swords

So I pulled four more cards.

1) Seven of Rods
2) The World
3) Seven of Pentacles
4) The Eight of Swords

Actually, the Wednesday after the second time I spent time with David I gathered all of the sentimental keepsakes that reminded me of Frank and made the boyfriend box.

Past, Present and Future

I did a past, present, future spread after the second time I hung out with David (when I accidently locked myself out of my house).

Past) Nine of Rods
Present) Four of Cups
Future) The Star

The Star

I asked if Frank was the Knight of Pentacles that I pulled earlier. So I picked The Star. I first pulled out three other cards and put them aside because The Star had a stronger pull on me.

Question About the Knight of Pentacles

This card came up in the previous spread. I shuffled again and asked what the Knight meant and two cards just fell out.

1) The Moon
2) Eight of Swords

Future with Frank?

I asked if my future contained Frank because of what the Five of Cups said.

1) Nine of Cups
2) The Hanged Man
3) Judgement
4) Knight of Pentacles

Five of Cups

So after I asked my cards if I did the right thing by breaking up with Frank I tried shuffling the cards again and the Five of Cups fell out.

"There's no way around it: This card is about disappointment, regret and loss. It sometimes refers to an individual who has trouble releasing the past or has experienced an emotional loss that led to complete absorption in sorrow.

There may be an obsession over past wrongs. The bottom line is that it's time to pick up the pieces and go forward.

What's gone is gone. Concentrate on what you have left, not on what you've lost. Take time to experience your grief and disappointment, then move on. It's unwise to try to hide from your feelings, but is equally damaging to cling to unhappy memories. Examine your situation and see what you can learn from your distressing experiences. Then turn your bak on the past and lay the foundation for your future.

Romance: The end of a relationship has left you feeling bereft, adrift, consumed with your loss. You want your former lover to return, but it's not going to happen. You and your depression keep each other company. Unable to face the emotioanl demands of a new relationship, you rebuff potential romantic partners" (MacGregor).

That was exactly how I felt then. I got scared when it said that I should move on and that I wouldn't get back together with Frank. At that time, I was hoping that we would break up and after we both had a chance to grow up that we would reunite. I brushed that aside but I now realize that it was speaking the truth.

I did hide from my feeligngs for a little after the break-up. I would stay up late to the point where I was just so tired that I could fall asleep right away so I wouldn't have to think about it. However, I am dealing with the break-up head-on. On a side note, I thought it was funny that it said that I would rebuff potential romantic partners because I blew Connor off immediately.

Did I Do the Right Thing?

After Frank left I did several spreads. I first asked my cards if I did the right thing by breaking up with him. This time I just cut the deck into four piles after shuffling.

1) Strength
2) Two of Swords
3) Six of Swords
4) Justice

Update of The Lovers

So much has happened since I last wrote an entry. First of all, Frank and I broke up. In a past entry, I mentioned what The Lovers revealed and I said that Frank and I were better than ever. Well, I was in denial.

These past couple of weeks have been a blur to me. First there was Conor, who I am now annoyed with since he is being so clingy, then the break with Frank, then David. The morning after I broke up with Frank I did my Tarot. I was so distraught with everything that I did not even touch my cards since then for what seemed to me like forever.

Then I hung out with David. October 10th is when everything changed for me. I'm really starting to fall hard and I picked up Tarot again. Now that I am actually dealing with the break-up and not just ignoring the situation, I am able to face my cards again. So with that said, here are the several spreads I did since my last entry.